Oops

In which the best-laid plans turn out in fact to be quite shoddily laid

Apr 18, 2024

This coffee at the American Embassy was £3.80 and terrible

Writing this on Wednesday evening with the dog snoring by my side, the plan was to fly to San Francisco tomorrow afternoon. Unfortunately, due to a combination of my ineptitude and… my ineptitude in not realising how long it could reasonably take to issue a media visa (I did actually start looking into this in good time, I was just promised some help with the process which didn’t materialise), I am not currently in possession of my passport, which I left in the tender care of the the American Embassy on Monday morning. Visa approved, but apparently sticking it in takes time (to be fair to the Americans, they are pretty clear about this on the website. I just didn’t think to look because I was too busy with really important stuff like freezing my gym membership and booking Wilf in for a haircut).

Because I love to clutch at straws (I’m just a really, like, positive person?), I’m hoping I get at text at 8am tomorrow saying it’s ready for collection, which would just about leave me the time to rendezvous with Eddy the bike, who has his own personal chauffeur, and get that flight… but realistically I’ll probably be on the phone to British Airways changing my flight to… well, it’s hard to know when, given there’s no tracking available. I’m sad because not only will this be expensive, but it probably means missing out on some of the cool things I had lined up in San Francisco, but que sera sera, as my grandma’s favourite song has it. No use crying over spilled cash and spoiled plans (even when they’re a lunch reservation at Cafe Zuni. Could I realistically have eaten a whole chicken anyway?).

Sad coda: dragged Wilf to the dropbox place on Chancery Lane at 8am, nearly cutting off circulation to my shoulder with my huge bag, only to hear they email you the day before, so definitely no passport today. Still in negotiations with BA re when I will actually fly. GUTTED.

In the meantime, because this is one of the most fascinating aspects of any such expedition for me, here’s my packing. My bike-touring, West Highland Way-trekking pal Caroline and I have a packing master list which we spend far too long tweaking while we’re actually on said expeditions, instead of looking at the scenery.

I’m taking two (Ortlieb, waterproof) panniers and a (Rapha) handlebar bag which doubles as a handbag off the bike, as usual, but this time I’ve added an Ortlieb rack bag, which apparently clips on to the other two in a handy fashion. Unfortunately it arrived too late for me to actually try it out, so will just have to hope on that front too. And also try not to actually fill it because the new lock I’ve got is HEAVY.

Tent (to come, borrowing a teeny tiny one from Gemma)
Sleeping bag (luckily I noticed this new one doesn’t come with anything you can use as a pillow so have snaffled the fleece-lined one from my old sleeping bag)
Sleeping mat (fancy new one as the one I bought in 2017 is starting to feel a bit… spartan)
Towel (actually a kikoi I found abandoned in a house share, and which still bears a rusty pipe mark from a Breton campsite six summers ago, and the ghost of the Welsh mud I slipped on and tore my hamstring in 2021)

Eye mask and ear plugs (you never regret an eyemask)

Phone charger
Battery pack
Adaptor
Solar charger (my friend Emily convinced me to buy one of these. We’ll see if it’s absurd. It feels absurd)
Notebook and pencil
Book (found Simone at Skoob, an excellent second-hand bookshop near Russell Square. Hope she’s not too hard going)

Helmet (and a geeky little mirror which I haven’t been able to bring myself to put on yet)
Gloves
Gilet and sleeves
2 x jerseys
2 x bib shorts (one pair hasn’t arrived, so that’s cool)
Waterproof
Cycling shoes
Fleece jumper
Sunglasses